Yesterday was a long and difficult day, and today the emotion is leaking out of my eyes.
So I thought I would share this: http://mightygirl.com/2012/07/05/divorce-field-guide-best-advice/
Personally I don’t think you have to be married to go through the emotions and hardships of divorce. I can definitely relate to a lot of the advice above. Hopefully it will help some of you out – or provide perspective where there wasn’t any before.
“Hey”
“Hey”
“You’re cute”
“Thanks”
“Your profile is pretty old huh?”
“Yeah, it is, I should update it”
“Well at least that gives us something to talk aboutJ”
“Yeah”
“So… let’s start small, what’s your favourite colour?”
All the colours in my home, the living room is a gorgeous ochre that lights the room on fire when the sun sets and speckles droplets of sunshine through the hazelnut bushes onto the walls. The bedroom is a calming shade of purple, to calm our minds for the hard days of tomorrow. The office is a green that makes you believe you are inside a forest, a forest with internet – the best thing ever! If you open the window the rhododendrons will reach their branches in to say hello to you. The bathroom is still in a can in the basement somewhere, at least as far as I know. But it is the shade of the sky on the clearest of days, and speaks of new beginnings for each day ahead. The red in the kitchen is the only one inherited from the previous soul here, and it is comforting like a hug on a cold night. But I don’t live there anymore.
“I don’t know, I don’t really have a favourite colour, I like them all, but depending on my mood my favourite changes”
“Ah, cool, mine’s green”
“Cool”
“Did you see the photo of my bike? Do you like motorcycles?”
They are on their own for dinner. Not that they can’t handle it. They figure steaks will do, and maybe a salad, nothing crazy. They race to the store hoping it’s still open, they don’t really know the hours here. Suddenly two bright eyes are facing them, head on. A brake and swerve later his adrenalin beats through his back into her chest, they are one. Red for him, white for her, steaks chosen, salad chosen and they race back, the sun chasing them. They giggle the night away with the bottles, the lavender fields buzzing a romantic song to their dinner.
“Yeah, I like motorcycles, but I don’t have a license”
“Can I ask you why you haven’t updated your profile yet?”
“I don’t really know what I’d say there anymore”
“So, do you want to grab a drink sometime?”
How could I? What stories would I tell without catching myself every other word, trying to edit it into something that is mine and not OURS? I don’t want to edit anything.
“No”
I am officially pressing the reset button on this blog. Yes I know it’s been over a year. I happen to have some very interesting things to write about right now like KITTENS!
RESET!
Stay tuned for kittens.
Busy with finals right now, but more will come later including my first time gardening (what’s this with me and becoming all domestical-like?) and my goals for that as well as putting into life one of the TED talks I saw recently (just because I can). So stay tuned!
2009 holds a lot of promise. There are trips and bridesmaidsing in a wedding and more trips and hopefully money.
Rant: I hate this cold weather, I swear to god if this summer isn’t so scalding hot that I have to peel my own skin off to cool off I’m going to have to lose it, and that’s never pretty. So I am being reasonable right now WeatherGods, but if you guys don’t seriously get your shit together I might have to go up there and kick someone’s ass!
Come home after a weekend away and finding the fridge door open and no cold in the fridge at all. SIGH.
I didn’t get any sleep last night. Plagued by dreams relating to the not-so-distant past. Not-so-pleasant dreams but not something you could qualify as a nightmare, so here’s a new word for you guys. It was a lifemare. I’d rather have had a nightmare. *sigh*
On the bus this morning. I get on and it’s almost empty, notably one woman is sitting in a priority sitting area. I pick the comfiest spot. Someone with a stroller is getting on at the next stop. I move, I was in the priority seating, let them have their choice of which one is easier to get in to. Next stop, an elderly and clearly overweight lady barely hauls herself onto a priority seat. Next stop, a feeble granma gets help lifting her walker onto the bus, the elderly and overweight lady looks at the other girl sitting in priority seating. She doesn’t budge. I guess her slim figure and obviously non-disabled frame is too assed to bother. The old lady gets herself off the seat and offers it to the walker-lady, obviously a great deal of effort (and looks like maybe pain as well) is involved. She stands before getting off a couple of stops later. The woman is still lounging in the priority seat. What a piss off. It’s called priority seating for a reason bitch.
I have so many things I want to talk about. But I don’t want to talk about them. So here’s this instead.
Breathe Me by Sia
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there’s no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I’m needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I’ve lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I’m needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I’m needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Twiggles 